What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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