What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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What did the black man do when his Polish friend died of cancer? He fertilized his front lawn as it was beginning to burn due to overexposure of the sun.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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Why was the 7 year old girl crying? Because its hard to laugh during gang rape.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops