A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what goes woof ? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

God is like semen. They're both nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hats better than a stick? A stone

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops