How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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