How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Q: What's the difference between a black man from San Diego and a white man from Miami? A: They live in different cities, and in the presidential election, the black man voted for Obama and the white man voted for McCain

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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Please don't shoot me

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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Joesph Triphook.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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