why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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