why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because 9 was black.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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That's illegal What? Your mom

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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