Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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