What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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Why? Why not?

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops