how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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A bar walks into a man

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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