Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

thumb_up thumb_down -11

belly button

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Y u do dis?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -11

first

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops