i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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What do you callan african american in KFC? A had working american with a average profit, trying to make a living.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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Why did Colussi miss school for 2 years? -Because he died

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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