What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

What's funny about 9/11. Nothing.

How about that airline food?

What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

Youre mom is so dead...

What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

My jeans

Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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