Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? This is a psychological question which the egg came from the chicken, but the chicken also came from an egg, so the world may never know exactly.

Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

One man says to the other man "Hello Sir, how are you this morning?" He replies "I am doing rather well, and how are you?" The first man replies "Quite good." And they continue about their day.

When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

A seal walks into a club.

How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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