Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

all the kids had fun

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops