roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Whats funnier than a black guy dieing? Everything thats not funny

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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Knock knock Whos there? The Gestapo

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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