What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

How come the bartender didnt let the black guys in the bar Because the bar was closed.noone was aloud in the bar

horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

Why did the black man walk across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

Q: If Alma have 4 corners..? A: Then there must be something wrong with Alma...

What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What?

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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