If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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What? Why?

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who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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