what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

VITAMIN C!

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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