A young baby died.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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Knock Knock The doors already open

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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You idiot thats 9 letters

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops