Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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What do you say to a rock? Meow

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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What is orange, has 7 legs, and makes the same noise as a crow? If you can think of something that fits all of those characteristics, you need help

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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69

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Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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