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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

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I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops