What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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Why did the girl have twins she was raped

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(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Do you like fishsticks No

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops