How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

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It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

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whats white jizz

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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Whats Bin Laden's favorite store 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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