why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

A black student graduated High School

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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