Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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An man walked into a bar. Unbeknownst to him, the bar happened to be a having a Rave party. The man, having epilepsy, proceeded to have a seizure. Luckily, a paramedic was there and saved his life.

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Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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