A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops