What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

Indians

what happened to your carpool? they died.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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