What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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like if your cool

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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