- Anti Joke

69

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? mindblown

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

can you touch your toes? no

charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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