What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

cory is gay

Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

a man was shot.... he died

The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

american idol

What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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