" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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24

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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