Dwarf Shortage

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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