Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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