What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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