What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

Jimmy Saville

A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...