What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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