Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Bitch

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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What is my name? I dont know

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops