How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops