Peas

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops