A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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