Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

Roses are red. Violets are violet.

Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...