Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops