Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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