Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

thumb_up thumb_down -16

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Death by kayak

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops