What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...