My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops