What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

AIDS

What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...