Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Chinese man fails a math test

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops