What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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time to spruce up!

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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