Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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