A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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