Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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why did your mum die young because she had canser

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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what does a chair look like? a chair.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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