Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

dat shoe shine tho

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

How do you make a snake blink? You can't

What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

If you just read this, You're dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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