The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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