- Anti Joke

There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

Chicken

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

Nothing. He made it home safely.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops