I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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