Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops