What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down -25

69

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -27

deez nuts

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops