What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A whole 'nother.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

haha women's rights.....what a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops