What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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You idiot.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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