Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Nothing. He made it home safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops