Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops