Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

Jesus Christ

justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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