Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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