Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Anti Jokes = Drained

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

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Balboa. Watch as Apollo Creed`s nephews son is trained by Rocky Balboa`s grandson`s neighbor to participate in the new highschool musical will they win this years golden plate? Spoiler: No they did well but lost to Clubber Lang`s and Ivan Drago`s gay sons adopted lovechild`s ballet number. But people kept cheering "BALBOA BALBOA BALBOA!" As Rocky Balboa`s grandson kept yelling "ADRIAAN, ADRIAAAAAAN!" while a picture of Rocky`s grandchild is shown in the background together with the American flag. Moral: This script may or might not have been made for a quick cash in, anyway, its coming out the next radioactive winter 2705.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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