Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -37

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Four blondes are driving to Disneyland, as they finally got to Florida, they read a sign that said "Disneyland: left" so they turned around and headed home.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Worms don't like apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops