whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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your life

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Balls

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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civil rights

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Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops