- Anti Joke

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

whats brown and sticky? Doody

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

Nero: Farewell to my past last part aka No more forced psychiatric evaluations for me. My psychiatric evaluator asked me why I consider myself a souless demon and not a man. My answer was: My mothers name was Maria, my brothers name is Kristoffer and my real father (which I only met once which was meaningless) is a Chatolic priest. Then I showed her (my psychiatric evaluator) my passport, my name is not Nero Angelo, nor whatever my parents might have told others but rather Angelo Nero. So lets conclude shall we? Nero Angelo = Angel black. and some Capcom shit. Angelo Nero = Says on my birth certificate, means Black Angel. Kristoffer= The sacrifice of Christ my half brother. Ricardo my non real father = which has nothing to do with Josef... Thank F*CK! So yeah, some of you might recognize me, but I have not met any family members the last 16 years, so if you where planing to judge me the next time you see me, you better run instead, because I will... "pacify" you for just watching while my parents waterboarded me, for just standing there while my mother tried excorzise me away while beating the crap out of me. I WILL "remove you, forever" the only family I got, are my 2.755 or so members of my movement Neronism, and my wife`s family, this is not a threat.... ...Its a promise to me, and to you. Make no mistake though, Neronism has over 60.000 members worldwide, but I dont care about them, enough is enough. Maria: My birthmother which claimed long before I was born that she was a virgin and as thus that she was giving birth to the anti-christ. (me, thanks mom) Then my psychiatric evaluator asked me if I truly believed I was a demon, where I told her that "human" is just a term, and that I know that calling myself a demon is just a way of coping with my past. She suggested that now that my troubles/parents are over/dead, that my need for her or anyone evaluating me further is over and she jokingly rated me a 100 percent "fresh" when I asked her if I was still a rotten tomato, so I am officially out from the "realm" of psychiatry (which I was forced to after killing my father in self defense). Its been fucking 27 years since, bt finally I am fucking happy... And the hell if there is humanity left in me... >:) M.Biso... I mean Nero. Merry christmas everybody, I know mine is not so bad after all... ill probably spend more time here, but farewell for now, and finally I can scratch the shit out of my ortopedic arm without getting PTSD`s of my non real father tearing my head off... AAAAAAAAAND all is good... Except the fucking itch...

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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