Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Yes

A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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