What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

whats brown and sticky? Doody

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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