- Anti Joke

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

What do you call a fat guy? A fatas mothafcka

There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What do you call a fat guy? A fatas mothafcka