What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

i am a dino. RAWR.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops