A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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Communism hehe xd

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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The New York Giants

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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