To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

This is an anti-joke.

Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

What is stupid and looks like you? You.

Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

A black man and a white women are having dinner at a fanncy resteraunt. The waitor asks "Who is the better tipper... I know and hands the check to the white women.

Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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